My Next Chapter.

If you’ve been reading my blog, you know I’ve been struggling to find (or even apply) for a job. It’s probably been very annoying, hell I’ve been annoying myself constantly going on about it. But I have finally found my light at the end of the tunnel!

I was left feeling rather annoyed by a recruitment agency after I’d been called in to just to fill in a ludicrous amount of forms rather than actually have an interview – I obviously got my wires crossed about how recruitment agencies actually work. Oh forms, what a catastrophe right? No not really, but I’d got myself so wound up and ruined my Mum’s plans so she could give me a lift thinking it was going to be an actual job interview that the whole situation left me resenting recruitment agencies, quite frankly. So instead, I decided to steer away from them. Considering I spent everyday trawling through online websites with jobs being advertised by recruitment agencies, I was going to make my demoralising, exhausting, irritating job search even harder for myself.

I took a look in our midweek paper, and came across an administrator vacancy which wasn’t demanding every skill under the sun but just some enthusiasm and a hard-working bean. Well I can do that! I sent my e-mail with my cover letter and CV, got a reply saying I needed to fill in the proper application form. Bloody application forms – why are you encouraged so much to design such a fancy CV just to end up filling in a form most of the time?! Anyway, I spent my time filling it in to the best of my ability and I felt good. I have never had such a good feeling about a job, I was actually excited. I was ready to SMASH IT. I was so determined to walk in there and blow their socks off. Except, I didn’t hear anything. I was so disappointed. If it was anything else, I wouldn’t have thought much of it, but something had just felt so right about this job, I was gutted not to hear anything.

Nearly 3 weeks later after my application, I got a phone call offering me an interview and I was over the moon! I learnt as much as I could about the company and prepared my answers word for word, constantly going over it in my head, every hour of every day. The good feeling got better, as my interview was on the 2nd, at 2pm. 2 is my lucky/favourite number. If that’s not a good omen, I don’t know what is! I even pushed the boat out and decided to buy some new clothes for my interview (mainly because the ones I currently have are a tad small). I was raring to go. Until my new skirt was still too small and I managed to ruin my new shirt with the iron. All the damn things I iron in my life, and I had to ruin my brand new shirt before an interview! But I still kept the faith, listened to ‘fight song’ a fair few times and practiced some power stances in front of my mirror. Yes really. Apparently it makes you more confident…

So I walk out after my interview, not having a CLUE how it had gone. I was told it would be approximately 45 minutes. It took about 20. All my rehearsed answers were forgotten as soon as I’d walked in the door – I’m still waiting to be asked to ‘tell them a bit about myself’. I moan so much about the pressure of having to answer certain questions in a certain way, but when it doesn’t happen, it completely throws me. But I did manage to answer the couple of questions I was asked, but the majority of the interview was my interviewer telling me about the company/role ect. So it wasn’t bad, but it didn’t feel like it was great either. I didn’t even get to blurt everything I’d learnt about the company. Had I missed subtle hints in the questions where I had the opportunity to say more but didn’t? Had the interview gone so badly that as soon as I walked through the door, she didn’t think I would be suitable and didn’t bother to ask too many questions? True to form, I overthinked it all, dissected every part of the conversation and came to the conclusion, as always, that I’d messed up. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday passed, full of me rapidly checking my e-mails and cautiously eyeing my phone incase it rang. But nope it didn’t, and to me, that was that. Time to move on I guess.

Until Friday, when the recognisable number flashed up on my phone. Luckily I could actually answer as there was no one in the house to eavesdrop (I have a MASSIVE issue with talking on the phone, especially when people are listening). I just thought, oh god come on, just tell me I haven’t got the job. But I was wrong. I HAD GOT THE JOB! ME!

BEST. DAY. EVER.

I’m waiting to have confirmation about my induction day, but I am ready to go! I work at a law firm! Me, at a law firm! There is even going to be training on how to answer the phone. Literally the best thing I could ask for. It’s in my home town so I don’t have to move, and I will hopefully lose some weight walking to and from the office. I’m hoping this will be an absolute game changer for both my anxiety and my mood.

So as much as I hated it when everyone kept telling me to keep trying, there are so many people in the same position as me. Well okay fine you were right. And I’m about to do the same. Don’t give up. Believe me, I have had the darkest days, feeling like a failure, useless, like I would never get anywhere with my life. I know how it feels. But you will find the right thing for you, whether it’s related to your degree, your work experience or something completely different. My sister-in-law kept telling me, what is meant for you, wont pass you by and I suppose, she was right 😉 I had such a good feeling about this job, and obviously for a reason! Find what works for you, and keep the faith.

icandothis

V 🙂

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